What kind of grades did you get in school?

What kind of grades did you get in school?  Mine were decent.  Although, most of my grades I don’t remember at all.  What I do remember is the relationships I had with some of my teachers, lots of my friends, and, of course, the way I felt about my relationship with my parents.  Now that I have a career, the grades I had in middle school and high school feel so irrelevant.  But some of the relationships I had with teachers are still quite relevant and always will be.

Although I don’t know what my actual grade was in English my sophomore year, I will never forget the day my teacher pulled me aside to tell me how much she really liked a poem I had written.  I felt so incredibly capable, and so smart.  As a result, I wanted to keep writing!

I also recall a quiet conversation with my Spanish teacher about my failing grade. Somehow I walked  away feeling like I wasn’t dumb.  Nor did I feel like anyone thought I wasn’t trying hard enough. I concluded that Spanish was just hard and I was going to have to take it again to conquer it.

Then, of course, there are the friendships.  Although I have no idea what name and what particular comment belong to which memory, I sure do know how I felt about the way certain kids acted around me and made me feel.

All of these were so much more important to me than grades.  My grades were important, but I really didn’t need my parents harping on me if I made a B or an A on an assignment.  What I wanted, and needed, was for the adults in my life to recognize and value everything in my adolescent world other than just the grades.

I try to do that for my kids.  Sometimes I think they find me intrusive, but I keep trying.   I keep trying to send the message that no matter what their grades are, they need to keep their focus on being kind to others and trying their best.  I want them to try their best in relationships, as well as academics.  Character speaks volume for a person and never goes away.  I so desire for my children to develop character that speaks largely about who they are.  When they are adults, I hope they look back and remember that I nagged them about things that were important, and I hope they always find that relevant.

What are your memories of school, grades, friendships and teachers?  How can you make the most of your memories in empathizing with your child and helping them along the path to success?  

*Join the conversation.  Please come to our Coffee with the Counselor discussions in the Middle School.  Our next meeting is November 24 at 8:30 a.m. in the Middle School Conference Room.

Parenting is Hard

Have you ever given your child a compliment and she took it as a slam?  Parenting is hard.  One child will internalize the mildest criticism and the other will require lots of reminders about limits and natural consequences.  We don’t really don’t know which child we have because our kids present themselves in different ways all the time.  No parenting book, expert speaker or well-meaning friend could ever give us all the direction we need.  Parenting is not a perfect science.

Sometimes we mess up.  Messing up is good.  Just like we teach our children the value of failure, failure as a parent can be helpful too.  Consider this, if you always did exactly the right thing, and protected your child from every disappointment that a family can bring, what would it be like?  They would likely grow up into adults with no stamina for stress and no coping strategies for managing relationships and big ethical dilemmas.

Since none of us can actually provide a perfect environment, I guess we will never know.  But we do know that our own growth and our children’s growth are frequently prompted by hurt feelings, mistakes and all out failures.  We have heard quite a bit about the value of letting our kids fail, and we try, we really do. 

Still, work needs to be done in accepting our own failures as parents.  “I should have been more patient and helped him study for that math quiz.”  “I shouldn’t have yelled at her.”  “Why did I have to use a condescending tone of voice, I sound just like my mother!”  Yes, we all fail a little, and it’s okay.

In order for your children to develop the skill of forgiving themselves from failure and moving on, we have to model it.  Model accepting responsibility and apologizing when needed.  Avoid shifting blame.  Just own it and then let it go.  Wouldn’t it be nice if your teenager said, “I’m sorry I interrupted you and said the rules are dumb, dad.  I will work on my temper and do better next time”?  Wow, wouldn’t that be amazing?  In order for our children to do amazing things, it takes a bit of modeling from the adults around them.  It’s okay to admit failure.  By the way, it’s good for your own emotional health and promotes your children developing an essential life skill. 

To join in more conversations like this one, come to Coffee with the Counselor.  Our middle school counselor is hosting monthly sessions for parents to connect with each other, laugh and share stories.  One parent commented, “It’s so nice to know we are not doing this alone.  Everyone else is going through it too.”  We hope to see you next month for this casual conversation, October 27 at 8:30 a.m. in the middle school.  RSVP to Michelle Bostian.

Teacher Tuesday: Kay Zimmerman

Teacher Tuesday: Kay Zimmerman, Middle School Latin

Q: How long have you been a part of the GDS community? 

  30 yearrs, (full-time about 26; part-time in Lower School and Middle School when the boys were very young)

Q: What have you enjoyed most about your time at GDS? 

 Great students, colleagues who have become my best friends, and the support of administrators to try new ideas that might enrich my teaching and help my students.  I am also especially appreciative of the Brooks Sabbatical which allowed me to travel to Greece, Turkey (Troy!!!), and Italy.

Q. What is something new that you get to do/teach students that continues to make you enjoy your job? Think of new ways to teach ancient things!  Participation in NCJCL.

Q. What is one interesting fact about you that we may not know?   

My uncle was president of Appalachian State.  I'm retiring in June, after teaching full and part-time for 43 years!

Teacher Tuesday: Angela Ballou

Getting to know Middle School Learning Specialist, Angela Ballou.

How long have you been a part of the Greensboro Day School community? I began my teaching career here at GDS right out of college 17 years ago.

What have you enjoyed most about your time at GDS?  The growth I have been able to do in areas of intellect, character, athletics, and as a good citizen of the environment is tremendous.  The people and environment at GDS pushes me to be my best every day.

What is something new that you get to do/teach students that continues to make you enjoy your job?  I love helping students build their confidence as learners.  It is also really awesome to see students who dread reading start to become excited about books.  If they find the right titles that are of high interest to them, they will really get into reading! 

What is one interesting fact about you that we may not know?   As an adolescent, I hated to read.  Now, I read every night because, through working with my students, I have discovered the joy and value of reading a good book.

Teacher Tuesday: Beverly Edwards

Greensboro Day School will feature one of our teachers as part of Teacher Tuesday and share a look into what it's like to teach at GDS.

Name and current position: 
Beverly Edwards, 3rd grade

How long have you worked at GDS?

This year is my 29^th year at GDS.  I came in August of 1986 which was the same year Ralph Davison came to be the new headmaster.  I taught in the North Carolina public schools for 11 years before moving to GDS. 

What is the best part about teaching at GDS?  

I have enjoyed teaching children from the same families.  Once I “join” a family as the teacher of their child, I really like knowing that same family over a period of years as I teach the siblings.  After one or two of the kids have come my way, we become friends.  Secondly, I tell everyone that asks me about teaching at GDS that we are a great big family.  I am invited to confirmations, weddings, wedding parties, baby showers, recitals, athletic events, plays, college graduations, and dinners with the families.  I have even vacationed with GDS families.  I know my students well into their adult years.  It is marvelous when a former student stops by my classroom to visit, especially when they bring their own children to meet me. 

What is something I enjoy teaching year after year?   

Third grade is a fabulous year, and I am totally invested in what we teach.  GDS sponsored several trips to the Native American lands in the desert south west.  I can speak to my students about my own first hand experiences with the Hopi or Navaho people.  Because I received the Brooks Sabbatical grant and traveled to Kenya and Tanzania, I can describe in vivid detail the sights and sounds of the African savannah.  I can make these ancient cultures come alive for my students with the objects and pictures I share each year. 

What is something no one knows about you? 

I am totally addicted to the Angry Birds games as well as the sweet world of Candy Crush. Another interesting bit of personal history is that I slept in a grave yard for an entire night while backpacking in Europe during the summer of 1975.  It’s a great story!

Protect the Holiday Dinner…Just Say ‘No’ to College Talk

Reading my Sunday New York Times is one of my favorite pastimes. I wake up early on a Sunday, go for a run, eat a big brunch, and snuggle up with my dog and my paper. However, as the leaves have now fallen and the holiday approach, I often tread cautiously around my NYTimes, and all of my other favorite news sources, because inevitably, my weekend retreat from work becomes a nightmare:

• “How to win the College Scholarship Game” 
• “Is College Worth It?”
• “Don’t send your kids to the Ivy League”
• “Building a better ranking system”
• “Harvard Schmarvard” 

These titles are just a small sample of headlines that jump out of The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, The Washington Post, New Republic, The New York Times, The Huffington Post and others.

I have seen a direct correlation between the time of year I begin to dread my morning routine and the level of stress among our students. Applying to college was stressful when I was in high school long before our current students were born. A holiday dinner with extended family wouldn’t have been complete without talk of where I was applying to school and whether I planned to follow in the footsteps of generations before me and go to their alma mater. Thanksgiving was no longer carefree and focused on compliments on my mother’s sweet potato casserole; it was about relatives grilling me about my future. The prevalence of college news in the media has only upped that level of awareness, questioning, and stress.

Parents feel this stress too, often out of a well-intentioned need to feel as though they are doing everything they can to offer the best for their child. I have heard parents say that all of their hopes rest on their child’s admission to college as if this defines them and their success as parents. Increasingly, I have read articles that describe college as parents’ ultimate “return on investment.”

According to a study published in the Journal of College Admission, the top stressors in the college

admission process are parents/peers, essays, and standardized tests. (Vultaggio and Friedfeld, 2013). Per this study, these stressors are the same across gender lines and socioeconomic status. However, there are some researchers who say that the pressure experienced by kids at independent schools is greater. At a recent conference I attended, Madeline Levine spoke about her book The Price of Privilege and how particularly in cultures of affluence, there is increased pressure to achieve. To help address these pressures, Levine and other colleagues from Stanford’s Graduate School of Education, started “Challenge Success” a project designed to research and educate about alternative models of success for our kids that will maximize child well-being. I encourage you to check out the website (challengesuccess.org) and learn more.

Another favorite grounding resource is the website for The Education Conservancy, whose flyer “We Admit…Guidance From Those Who Do” begins with the sentence, “Applying to college does not have to be overwhelming.” (accessed 10/27/14) These statements become mantras that I share with students throughout the fall. Finally, to address stressors around standardized testing, I highly recommend a visit to www.fairtest.org. The National Center for Fair and Open Testing (Fairtest) is an organization that is committed to eliminating the misuse and flawed use of standardized tests and looking at better evaluation measures of students in the college admission process.

And so as we enter the holiday season, and families turn their attention from the roast and the pumpkin pie, to the sweet success of their child, please remember these resources and the following tips to help keep your stress at bay and your joy in Sunday mornings and holiday dinners:

1. There are more stories in the news than the latest college rankings. Engage in a conversation about these.
2. Focus your child’s search on fit – helping them identify who they are and where they can continue to grow, rather than focusing on only the names you know.
3. Help protect your child from badgering relatives, relentless news coverage, and themselves. (You might practice with them, some polite ways to defer unwanted questioning from friends and neighbors.)
4. Don’t frame college as the ultimate goal – College is actually just the beginning of what’s to come.
5. Don’t try to control what is out of your control, but you can control your attitude, your openness, the time you have.
6. Finally, a seasonal favorite from the NACAC Players: Don’t let your anxieties haunt you:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrazZSZIY54

Jennifer Ford

Director of Deans
Greensboro Day School 

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References:
Vultaggio and Friedfeld (2013). “Stressors in College Choice, Application and Decision Making”, National Association of College Admission Counseling Journal of College Admission, Number 221.
http://www.educationconservancy.org/resources.html) 

THEATRE at GREENSBORO DAY SCHOOL: NOT JUST A 3-DAY PRESENTATION

The Upper School production of “The Addams Family” will soon come to the Sloan Theatre stage. November 6-9 will undoubtedly bring us another showcase of our talented and dedicated students.

At Greensboro Day School we have committed significant resources to provide a remarkable theatre program for the campus and the Greensboro community. The 600-seat Sloan Theatre is a tremendous facility far surpassing those at area public or independent schools. We believe our students benefit tremendously from participation in our productions. Thirty percent (30%) of our 1st-4th graders participate in our after-school theatre program. In Middle School 33%, and in Upper School 23% engage in our theatre program. Why would your child want to participate in theatre at any other school?

Theatre provides practice in memorization, the ability to think on your feet, problem-solving, performing under pressure, speaking in front of an audience, operating under a strict deadline, and many other areas. For potential employers or college admission committees looking for the perfect applicant, citing experience in these skills may be just the way you will stand out from the hordes of other promising applicants.

JUST THE FACTS

• In one study, students involved in drama performance coursework or experience outscored non-arts students on the SAT by an average of 65 points in the verbal component and 34 points in the math component.(1)
• Drama activities improve reading comprehension, and both verbal and non-verbal communication skills?
• Drama helps to improve school attendance and reduce high school dropout rates.(2)
• A Harris Poll revealed that 93% of the public believes that arts, including theatre, are vital to a well-rounded education. (3)
• Drama can improve skills and academic performance in children and youth with learning disabilities.

DRAMA IMPROVES ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE
Numerous studies have demonstrated a correlation between drama involvement and academic achievement. In addition to having higher standardized test scores than their peers who do not experience the arts, student who participate in drama often experience improved reading comprehension, maintain better attendance records, and stay generally more engaged in school than their non-arts counterparts. Schools with arts-integrated programs, even in low-income areas, report high academic achievement.

DRAMA STUDENTS OUTPERFORM NON-ARTS PEERS ON SAT TESTS

The College Entrance Examination Board reported student scores from the Student Description Questionnaire indicating student involvement in various activities, including the arts. As compared to their peers with no arts coursework or involvement:

• Students involved in drama performance scored an average of 65.5 points higher on the verbal component and 35.5 points higher in the math component of the SAT
• Students who took courses in drama study or appreciation scored, on average, 55 points higher on verbal and 26 points higher on math than their non-arts classmates.
• Students involved in drama performance outscored the national average SAT score by 35 points on the verbal portion and 24 points on the math section. 

READING COMPREHENSION
From learning to read to the in-depth study of Shakespearean literature, drama can play a significant role in the continual development of students’ reading comprehension skills. Studies indicate that not only do the performance of a story and a number of other drama activities in the classroom contribute to a student’s understanding of the work performed, but these experiences also help them to develop a better understanding of other works and of language and expression in general. The results below were gleaned from studies where educators and students alike noticed a difference when drama played a part in their classrooms.

• A series of studies on the arts and education revealed a consistent causal link between performing texts in the classroom and the improvement of a variety of verbal skills, including especially significant increases in story recall and understanding of written material.
• Performance of Shakespeare texts helps to improve students’ understanding of other complex texts including science and math material.
• Drama can improve reading skills and comprehension better than other activities, including discussion.

BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH DRAMA
In addition to building social and communication skills overall, involvement in drama courses and performance has been shown to improve students’ self-esteem as well as their confidence in their academic abilities.

• High school students who are highly involved in drama demonstrate an elevated self-concept over those who are not involved.
• Playwriting original works and dramatic presentation of existing works can help to build the self-esteem and communication skills of high school students.
• The act of performing can help students and youth recognize their potential for success and improve their confidence.

Why do students put three, four, months or more into the production. Why do they do it? Why do schools commit resources to these events?

We believe theatre aids our students in a multitude of ways:

1. Improvisation. The great thing about the stage is that when it’s live and you’re up in front of that audience anything can, and does, happen. Dropped lines, missed entrances, or malfunctioning props require you to improvise while maintaining your cool. Theatre teaches students how to focus, think quickly and make do while giving the impression that you’ve got it all under control. Later in life is will serve our students well when clients, airlines, coworkers, or technology wreak unexpected havoc at the worst possible moment. 
2. Time Management. Academic work, travel soccer, activities in faith communities all continue when a student is engaged in a play production. The long hours of rehearsal force a student to manage their time at an early age. 
3. Dealing with Very Different Human Beings. The theatrical community is a mash-up of interesting characters. It always has been. Theatre taught our students how to appreciate, understand and effectively communicate with a widely diverse group of human beings. 
4. Doing Whatever Needs to Be Done. You have to learn to do it all. Light design, sound engineering, acting, directing, producing, marketing, PR, set design, set construction, ticket sales, budgeting, customer service, ushering, make-up, and costuming are all things in a production. 
5. Hard work. Long hours, burnt fingers and a few brushes with tragedy are needed to get each and every show done. After the show the set is torn down, thrown out, and we get ready for the next production. C’est la vie. Later in life our students will have periods of time with unbelievable workloads in which there are sleepless nights, seemingly endless days and tireless work on projects that will be presented and then will be over. The report will be archived and onto the next project. C’est la vie. They learned how to do this as a theatre student. 
6. Presentation Skills. Okay, it’s a no brainer but later in life our students will have to endure long training sessions or corporate presentations by boring, unprepared, incompetent or just plain awful presenters. Individuals who can stand up confidently in front of a group of people and capably, effectively communicate their message while even being motivating and a little entertaining are among the rarest individuals in the world. Being a theatre student helps our students be one of them. 

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Information adapted from the aate.com (American Alliance for Theatre and Education) web site.

(1) Data for these reports were gathered by the Student Descriptive Questionnaire, a self-reported component of the SAT that gathers information about students' academic preparation, and reported by the College Entrance Examination Board. A table of average scores for arts involved students can be found at:http://www.menc.org/information/advocate/sat.html

(2) N. Barry, J. Taylor, and Kwalls, "The Role of the Fine and Performing Arts in High School Dropout Prevention,” Critical Links: Learning in the Arts and Student Achievement and Social Development, ed. Richard Deasy (Washington, DC: Arts Education Partnership, 2002) 74-75.

(3) Sandra S. Ruppert and the National Assembly of State Arts Agencies, Critical Evidence: How the Arts Benefit Student Achievement (Washington, DC: National Assembly of State Arts Agencies and the Arts Education Partnership, 2006).

Adapted from an article by Marguerite Happe.